I'll take a bottle of confidence please...

Confidence - one of life's great mysteries for some.  I've seen it on more development plans than I care to mention (with no specifics goals next to it can I add!) and it's on par with 'raise your profile' for fluffy-ness.

I'm in no doubt that for lots of people it is genuinely something that holds them back from making a crucial decision, stops them presenting to people or makes them question their worth.  I'm also in no doubt that it can be tackled and overcome. 

I want you to take yourself back to a time when you felt great about yourself...what were you doing?

Now, picture the situation in your head or write it down.  Describe it as vividly as you can - use your senses and emotions to take yourself back to this brilliant time. Now answer these questions...
- what made you feel so good?
- what will help you feel that good again?
- how did you feel during the situation?
- how did you feel afterwards?
(again, writing down or recording the answers somewhere is going to be important)

So now you've laid some foundations, it's time to do something with it.  I want you to answer these questions now...
- what are the situations that cause you to lose confidence?
- what happens during the situations that frightens your confidence away?
- who do you see as having consistent confidence?
- how can that role model help you?
- how can you use your visualisation from above in these instances?

Positive visualisation is just one way of overcoming confidence issues, but it's extremely powerful.  Using role models / peer coaching / spot mentoring are all oldies but goodies - think about who you really admire and how you can use them, they'll love being asked.

There will be times when you are at your most energised and putting your strengths into full force, and those times are when you're at your most confident.  So why don't you use those skills more? It really is that simple.  Go on, give it a go!

There will be people out there that this is a deep routed challenge for, for a variety of reasons and to those people I'd urge you to not doubt yourself.  Everybody has potential and greatness in them - it just takes some deeper digging for some, and if you want help with that digging please get in touch with me via this blog.

I'm going to sign off with a health warning (imagine flashing red sign here).  What confidence means to you, won't be the same to everybody else.  If you're thinking that because someone (or you) is a bit quieter, more reflective and not loud and out going DOES NOT mean they're not confident.  In fact, I would argue that these could be some of the most confident and secure people out there - those that can sit in silence and think without having to justify their existence with lots of noise.  Don't be hard on yourself if this is something you challenge yourself on - it's different strokes for different folks.

Happy reflecting x