No thanks, I can do it by myself...

When was the last time you asked for help?  What was the situation? How did you feel?

I'm fairly certain I don't speak just for myself when I summarise a lifelong observation that asking for help feels uncomfortable for most.  It might be a single parent trying to successfully juggle life, an ambitious colleague wanting to progress off their own steam or a frustrated toddler who just can't seem to get the final pieces of the puzzle to fit.

Whatever the situation, I've no doubt there will be about 25 reasons why someone wouldn't want to ask for help - they think they know best, they don't want to put someone else out, and the old classic - it's quicker to do it yourself.  I've been there with most of the reasons, but the one that is most common for me (drum roll please) - I'm not comfortable showing vulnerability.  Admitting areas of non-strength and showing humility, I'd like to think I've got nailed (but open to feedback of course!) but actually asking for help on a task where I think it'll show I can't cope or deliver something and I'm flawed.

So, I'm finding that a bit of self coaching is the only logical way to go right now and I'd like to share the questions I'm asking myself to move forward with this particular challenge...
- what is the best thing that could happen if I ask for help?
- how will it positively impact the other person?
- what will it mean I can do / do differently?
- will I be able to switch off sooner?
- how will it positively impact the quality of what I'm doing?

I'm keeping it positive and focusing on the benefits, and so far so good.  I'm able to blog tonight because I asked my husband to cook tea because of a looming deadline at work - he did without question, I got my work done and with time to spare to complete my new favourite (cathartic) hobby.  So, the next time you're adamant you know best / don't want to bother someone else / think you should give it one last go (delete as appropriate) try asking yourself the questions above and see if anything changes.

Sleep well x